Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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