She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
