I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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