You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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