3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
