i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
