We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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