If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Randomize
