i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize