Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
