Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
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