I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
