Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
