barbara walters just said penis...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
