We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
being pregnant is like rehab
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
