If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
