you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it's like iHOP with fire
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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