what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
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