The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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