just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
