I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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