It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Your penis caused this!
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