fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
