escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize