The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
