My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
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