I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
