Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
