Too much gin, very little bucket
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
