it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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