i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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