just come out here and I will go home with you...
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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