so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
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