You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
