who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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