Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
