I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
