Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
