Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
