I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
