we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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