U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Randomize
