Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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