she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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