i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
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