Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
