Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
