They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
My vagina is very pro this idea
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