wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
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