I cockslap morals
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
