I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
How does one acquire holy water?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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