so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
