so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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