I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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