i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize