She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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