At least make sure they are 18
Why
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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