I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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