Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
