Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
