I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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