so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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