is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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