You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
