I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
