she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Randomize
