He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Randomize
