I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
We have started to decorate penises.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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